'Common Cold' by Ogden Nash

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Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!
Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The F�hrer of the Streptococcracy.
Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.
A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Editor 1 Interpretation

Common Cold by Ogden Nash: A Literary Criticism and Interpretation

Are you feeling a bit under the weather? Do you have a runny nose, a sore throat, and a cough that just won’t quit? If so, you might be suffering from the common cold. But fear not! Ogden Nash’s poem, “Common Cold,” offers a humorous and insightful look at this all-too-familiar affliction.

Overview

First published in 1931, “Common Cold” is a short, four-stanza poem that describes the symptoms and effects of the common cold. While the poem is certainly lighthearted in tone, it also offers some astute observations about the nature of illness and the human condition.

The poem begins with the line, “Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!” This opening line immediately sets the tone for the rest of the poem: irreverent, playful, and a bit tongue-in-cheek. The speaker goes on to describe the physical symptoms of the cold, such as sneezing, coughing, and a runny nose. But he also touches on the emotional effects of illness, such as feeling sorry for oneself and seeking sympathy from others.

Nash’s poem is notable for its use of rhyme and meter. Each stanza follows an AABB rhyme scheme, with four stressed syllables in the first and third lines, and three in the second and fourth. This creates a lively, sing-songy rhythm that adds to the poem’s playful tone.

Analysis

On the surface, “Common Cold” may seem like a simple, humorous poem about a common ailment. But upon closer examination, it becomes clear that Nash is using the cold as a metaphor for something deeper: the human condition.

For example, the line “Weep, and you weep alone” speaks to the idea of loneliness and isolation. When we are sick, we often feel cut off from the world, and the rest of society seems to go on without us. We may seek sympathy from others, but ultimately we are alone in our suffering.

Similarly, the line “I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me” speaks to the idea of mortality. Our shadow, like our body, is a constant companion that reminds us of our own impermanence.

The poem also touches on the idea of control. The speaker complains that he cannot control his own sneezing and coughing, and that his body seems to have a will of its own. This speaks to the larger human experience of feeling powerless in the face of our own bodies and the world around us.

But despite these deeper themes, “Common Cold” remains a lighthearted and enjoyable poem to read. Nash’s use of humor and wordplay is clever and entertaining, and the poem’s sing-songy rhythm makes it a joy to recite.

Interpretation

So what is the overall meaning of “Common Cold”? At its core, the poem is a meditation on the human experience of illness and mortality. Nash uses the common cold as a metaphor for the larger human condition, exploring themes of isolation, control, and mortality.

But the poem is also a subtle commentary on the medical profession. The opening line, “Go hang yourself, you old M.D.,” is a playful jab at doctors and their supposed ability to cure all ills. The speaker goes on to describe the various “cures” he has tried for his cold, from hot toddies to mustard plasters, but none of them seem to work. This suggests that perhaps there is no easy cure for the human condition, and that we must learn to live with our own imperfections and vulnerabilities.

Overall, “Common Cold” is a humorous and insightful poem that offers a lighthearted take on a universal experience. Whether you’re currently suffering from a cold or simply looking for a quick and enjoyable read, this classic poem is well worth your time.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

The Classic Poetry Common Cold by Ogden Nash: An Analysis

Are you feeling under the weather? Do you have a runny nose, a sore throat, and a headache? If so, you might have caught a common cold. But don't worry, you're not alone. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), adults can expect to catch two or three colds per year, while children can catch even more. And while a cold might not be a serious illness, it can certainly make you feel miserable. But what if I told you that there's a poem that can make you feel better about having a cold? Yes, you read that right. The poem is called "Common Cold," and it was written by the one and only Ogden Nash.

Who is Ogden Nash?

Before we dive into the poem, let's take a moment to talk about its author. Ogden Nash was an American poet who lived from 1902 to 1971. He was known for his witty and humorous poems, which often played with language and puns. Nash wrote over 500 poems, many of which were published in The New Yorker magazine. He was also a successful lyricist, writing songs for Broadway musicals and Hollywood films. Nash's work has been praised for its accessibility and its ability to make readers laugh.

The Poem

Now, let's turn our attention to "Common Cold." Here's the poem in its entirety:

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.! You shall not sneer at me. Pick up your hat and stethoscope, Go wash your mouth with laundry soap; I contemplate a joy exquisite I'm not paying you for your visit. I did not call you to be told My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip; By fever's hot and scaly grip; By those two red redundant eyes That weep like woeful April skies; By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff; By handkerchief after handkerchief; This cold you wave away as naught Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil! Here is the genuine Cold Colossal; The Cold of which researchers dream, The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme. This honored system humbly holds The Super-cold to end all colds; The Cold Crusading for Democracy; The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals, But bred by scientists wise and hoary In some Olympic laboratory; Bacteria as large as mice, With feet of fire and heads of ice Who never interrupt for slumber Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth! Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth; Don Juan was a budding gallant, And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent; The Arctic winter is fairly coolish, And your diagnosis is fairly foolish. Oh what a derision history holds For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

As you can see, the poem is written in a playful and sarcastic tone. Nash starts by addressing a doctor who has come to see him for his cold. He tells the doctor to go hang himself and wash his mouth with laundry soap, indicating his disdain for the medical profession. Nash then goes on to describe the symptoms of his cold in exaggerated and humorous terms, such as "fever's hot and scaly grip" and "racking snuffle, snort, and sniff." He insists that his cold is not just any common cold, but the "Cold Colossal," the "Perfect Cold," the "Cold Supreme." He even gives it a political spin, calling it the "Cold Crusading for Democracy" and the "Führer of the Streptococcracy." Nash then imagines the bacteria that are causing his cold as being larger than mice and having "feet of fire and heads of ice." He ends the poem by mocking the doctor's diagnosis and suggesting that history will ridicule anyone who belittles the "Cold of Colds."

Analysis

So, what can we make of this poem? At first glance, it might seem like Nash is just making fun of doctors and their attempts to treat common illnesses. But there's more to it than that. Nash is using humor to make a serious point about the human experience of illness. By exaggerating the symptoms of his cold and giving it grandiose names, he is highlighting the way that illness can make us feel like we are the center of the universe. When we are sick, everything else fades away and all we can think about is our own discomfort. Nash is poking fun at this self-centeredness, but he's also acknowledging that it's a natural part of being human.

Nash is also using the poem to comment on the way that society views illness. In the early 20th century, when Nash was writing, there was a tendency to dismiss common illnesses like colds as trivial and unimportant. Doctors were often seen as quacks who didn't really know what they were doing. Nash is pushing back against this attitude by insisting that his cold is not just any old cold, but the "Cold of Colds." He's saying that even though it might not be a serious illness, it still deserves to be taken seriously.

Finally, Nash is using the poem to play with language and puns. He's using words like "Streptococcracy" and "elephantine rumba" to create a sense of whimsy and fun. He's also using rhyme and meter to give the poem a musical quality. By doing this, he's making the poem more accessible and enjoyable to read.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "Common Cold" is a witty and humorous poem that uses exaggeration and wordplay to comment on the human experience of illness. Nash is poking fun at our tendency to be self-centered when we're sick, while also acknowledging that it's a natural part of being human. He's also pushing back against the idea that common illnesses like colds are trivial and unimportant. By using language in creative and playful ways, Nash is making the poem more enjoyable to read and more accessible to a wider audience. So, the next time you're feeling under the weather, remember that you're not alone, and that even the "Cold of Colds" can be a source of inspiration for great poetry.

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