'The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing' by Thomas Hardy
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Many years ago, when oak-trees now past their prime were about as large as elderly gentlemen's walking-sticks, there lived in Wessex a yeoman's son, whose name was Hubert. He was about fourteen years of age, and was as remarkable for his candour and lightness of heart as for his physical courage, of which, indeed, he was a little vain.
One cold Christmas Eve his father, having no other help at hand, sent him on an important errand to a small town several miles from home. He travelled on horseback, and was detained by the business till a late hour of the evening. At last, however, it was completed; he returned to the inn, the horse was saddled, and he started on his way.His journey homeward lay through the Vale of Blackmore, a fertile but somewhat lonely district, with heavy clay roads and crooked lanes. In those days, too, a great part of it was thickly wooded.
It must have been about nine o'clock when, riding along amid the overhanging trees upon his stout-legged cob Jerry, and singing a Christmas carol, to be in harmony with the season, Hubert fancied that he heard a noise among the boughs. This recalled to his mind that the spot he was traversing bore an evil name. Men had been waylaid there. He looked at Jerry, and wished he had been of any other colour than light grey; for on this account the docile animal's form was visible even here in the dense shade."What do I care?" he said aloud, after a few minutes of reflection."Jerry's legs are too nimble to allow any highwayman to come near me."
"Ha! ha! indeed," was said in a deep voice; and the next moment a man darted from the thicket on his right hand, another man from the thicket on his left hand, and another from a tree-trunk a few yards ahead. Hubert's bridle was seized, he was pulled from his horse, and although he struck out with all his might, as a brave boy would naturally do, he was over powered.His arms were tied behind him, his legs bound tightly together, and he was thrown into the ditch.The robbers, whose faces he could now dimly perceive to be artificially blackened, at once departed, leading off the horse.
As soon as Hubert had a little recovered himself, he found that by great exertion he was able to extricate his legs from the cord; but, in spite of every endeavour, his arms remained bound as fast as before.All, therefore, that he could do was to rise to his feet and proceed on his way with his arms behind him, and trust to chance for getting them unfastened.He knew that it would be impossible to reach home on foot that night, and in such a condition; but he walked on.Owing to the confusion which this attack caused in his brain, he lost his way and would have been inclined to lie down and rest till morning among the dead leaves had he not known the danger of sleeping without wrappers in a frost so severe.So he wandered further onwards, his arms wrung and numbed by the cord which pinioned him, and his heart aching for the loss of poor Jerry, who never had been known to kick, or bite, or show a single vicious habit.He was not a little glad when he discerned through the trees a distant light.Towards this he made his way, and presently found himself in front of a large mansion with flanking wings, gables, and towers, the battlements and chimneys showing their shapes against the stars.
All was silent; but the door stood wide open, it being from this door that the light shone which had attracted him.On entering he found himself in a vast apartment arranged as a dining-hall, and brilliantly illuminated. The walls were covered with a great deal of dark wainscoting, formed into moulded panels, carvings, closet-doors, and the usual fittings of a house of that kind.But what drew his attention most was the large table in the midst of the hall, upon which was spread a sumptuous supper, as yet untouched. Chairs were placed around, and it appeared as if something had occurred to interrupt the meal just at the time when all were ready to begin.
Even had Hubert been so inclined, he could not have eaten in his helpless state, unless by dipping his mouth into the dishes, like a pig or cow. He wished first to obtain assistance; and was about to penetrate further into the house for that purpose when he heard hasty footsteps in the porch and the words, "Be quick!" uttered in the deep voice which had reached him when he was dragged from the horse.There was only just time for him to dart under the table before three men entered the dining-hall.Peeping from beneath the hanging edges of the tablecloth, he perceived that their faces, too, were blackened, which at once removed any remaining doubts he may have felt that these were the same thieves.
"Now, then," said the first—the man with the deep voice—"let us hide ourselves. They will all be back again in a minute. That was a good trick to get them out of the house—eh?"
"Yes. You well imitated the cries of a man in distress," said the second.
"Excellently," said the third.
"But they will soon find out that it was a false alarm. Come, where shall we hide? It must be some place we can stay in for two or three hours, till all are in bed and asleep. Ah! I have it. Come this way! I have learnt that the further closet is not opened once in a twelvemonth; it will serve our purpose exactly."
The speaker advanced into a corridor which led from the hall. Creeping a little farther forward, Hubert could discern that the closet stood at the end, facing the dining-hall. The thieves entered it, and closed the door. Hardly breathing, Hubert glided forward, to learn a little more of their intention, if possible; and, coming close, he could hear the robbers whispering about the different rooms where the jewels, plate, and other valuables of the house were kept, which they plainly meant to steal.
They had not been long in hiding when a gay chattering of ladies and gentlemen was audible on the terrace without. Hubert felt that it would not do to be caught prowling about the house, unless he wished to be taken for a robber himself; and he slipped softly back to the hall, out at the door, and stood in a dark corner of the porch, where he could see everything without being himself seen. In a moment or two a whole troop of personages came gliding past him into the house.There were an elderly gentleman and lady, eight or nine young ladies, as many young men, besides half-a-dozen men-servants and maids. The mansion had apparently been quite emptied of its occupants.
"Now, children and young people, we will resume our meal," said the old gentleman. "What the noise could have been I cannot understand. In ever felt so certain in my life that there was a person being murdered outside my door."
Then the ladies began saying how frightened they had been, and how they had expected an adventure, and how it had ended in nothing after all.
"Wait a while," said Hubert to himself "You'll have adventure enough by-and-by, ladies."
It appeared that the young men and women were married sons and daughters of the old couple, who had come that day to spend Christmas with their parents.
The door was then closed, Hubert being left outside in the porch.He thought this a proper moment for asking their assistance; and, since he was unable to knock with his hands, began boldly to kick the door.
"Hullo!What disturbance are you making here?" said a footman who opened it; and, seizing Hubert by the shoulder, he pulled him into the dining-hall."Here's a strange boy I have found making a noise in the porch, Sir Simon."
"Bring him forward," said Sir Simon, the old gentleman before mentioned."What were you doing there, my boy?"
"Why, his arms are tied!" said one of the ladies.
"Poor fellow!" said another.
Hubert at once began to explain that he had been waylaid on his journey home, robbed of his horse, and mercilessly left in this condition by the thieves.
"Only to think of it!" exclaimed Sir Simon.
"That's a likely story," said one of the gentleman-guests, incredulously.
"Doubtful, hey?" asked Sir Simon.
"Perhaps he's a robber himself," suggested a lady.
"There is a curiously wild wicked look about him certainly, now that I examine him closely," said the old mother.
Hubert blushed with shame; and, instead of continuing his story, and relating that robbers were concealed in the house, he doggedly held his tongue, and half resolved to let them find out their danger for themselves.
"Well, untie him," said Sir Simon."Come, since it is Christmas Eve, we'll treat him well.Here, my lad; sit down in that empty seat at the bottom of the table, and make as good a meal as you can.When you have had your fill we will listen to more particulars of your story."
The feast then proceeded; and Hubert, now at liberty, was not at all sorry to join in.The more they ate and drank the merrier did the company become; the wine flowed freely, the logs flared up the chimney, the ladies laughed at the gentlemen's stories; in short, all went as noisily and as happily as a Christmas gathering in old times possibly could do.
Hubert, in spite of his hurt feelings at their doubts of his honesty, could not help being warmed both in mind and in body by the good cheer, the scene, and the example of hilarity set by his neighbours. At last he laughed as heartily at their stories and repartees as the old Baronet, Sir Simon, himself. When the meal was almost over one of the sons, who had drunk a little too much wine, after the manner of men in that century, said to Hubert, "Well, my boy, how are you?Can you take a pinch of snuff?"He held out one of the snuff-boxes which were then becoming common among young and old throughout the country.
"Thank you," said Hubert, accepting a pinch.
"Tell the ladies who you are, what you are made of, and what you can do," the young man continued, slapping Hubert upon the shoulder.
"Certainly," said our hero, drawing himself up, and thinking it best to put a bold face on the matter."I am a travelling magician."
"What shall we hear next?"
"Can you call up spirits from the vasty deep, young wizard?"
"I can conjure up a tempest in a cupboard," Hubert replied.
"Ha-ha!" said the old Baronet, pleasantly rubbing his hands.
"We must see this performance. Girls, don't go away: here's something to be seen."
"Not dangerous, I hope?" said the old lady.
Hubert rose from the table. "Hand me your snuff-box, please," he said to the young man who had made free with him. "And now," he continued, "without the least noise, follow me. If any of you speak it will break the spell."
They promised obedience. He entered the corridor, and, taking off his shoes, went on tiptoe to the closet door, the guests advancing in a silent group at a little distance behind him.Hubert next placed a stool in front of the door, and, by standing upon it, was tall enough to reach to the top.He then, just as noiselessly, poured all the snuff from the box along the upper edge of the door, and, with a few short puffs of breath, blew the snuff through the chink into the interior of the closet.He held up his finger to the assembly, that they might be silent.
"Dear me, what's that?" said the old lady, after a minute or two had elapsed.
A suppressed sneeze had come from inside the closet.
Hubert held up his finger again.
"How very singular," whispered Sir Simon. "This is most interesting."
Hubert took advantage of the moment to gently slide the bolt of the closet door into its place."More snuff," he said, calmly.
"More snuff," said Sir Simon. Two or three gentlemen passed their boxes, and the contents were blown in at the top of the closet. Another sneeze, not quite so well suppressed as the first, was heard: then another, which seemed to say that it would not be suppressed under any circumstances whatever. At length there arose a perfect storm of sneezes.
"Excellent, excellent for one so young!" said Sir Simon. "I am much interested in this trick of throwing the voice—called, I believe, ventriloquism."
"More snuff," said Hubert.
"More snuff," said Sir Simon. Sir Simon's man brought a large jar of the best scented Scotch.
Hubert once more charged the upper chink of the closet, and blew the snuff into the interior, as before.Again he charged, and again, emptying the whole contents of the jar.The tumult of sneezes became really extraordinary to listen to—there was no cessation.It was like wind, rain, and sea battling in a hurricane.
"I believe there are men inside, and that it is no trick at all!" exclaimed Sir Simon, the truth flashing on him.
"There are," said Hubert."They are come to rob the house; and they are the same who stole my horse."
The sneezes changed to spasmodic groans.One of the thieves, hearing Hubert's voice, cried, "Oh! mercy! mercy! let us out of this!"
"Where's my horse?" said Hubert.
"Tied to the tree in the hollow behind Short's Gibbet.Mercy! mercy! let us out, or we shall die of suffocation!"
All the Christmas guests now perceived that this was no longer sport, but serious earnest.Guns and cudgels were procured; all the men-servants were called in, and arranged in position outside the closet.At a signal Hubert withdrew the bolt, and stood on the defensive.But the three robbers, far from attacking them, were found crouching in the corner, gasping for breath. They made no resistance; and, being pinioned, were placed in an out-house till the morning.
Hubert now gave the remainder of his story to the assembled company, and was profusely thanked for the services he had rendered. Sir Simon pressed him to stay over the night, and accept the use of the best bed-room the house afforded, which had been occupied by Queen Elizabeth and King Charles successively when on their visits to this part of the country.But Hubert declined, being anxious to find his horse Jerry, and to test the truth of the robbers' statements concerning him.
Several of the guests accompanied Hubert to the spot behind the gibbet, alluded to by the thieves as where Jerry was hidden. When they reached the knoll and looked over, behold! there the horse stood, uninjured, and quite unconcerned. At sight of Hubert he neighed joyfully; and nothing could exceed Hubert's gladness at finding him.He mounted, wished his friends "Good-night!" and cantered off in the direction they pointed out as his nearest way, reaching home safely about four o'clock in the morning.
Editor 1 Interpretation
The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing: A Masterful Depiction of Human Weakness
When it comes to the works of Thomas Hardy, most readers immediately think of his novels, such as Tess of the D'Urbervilles or Far From the Madding Crowd. However, it is easy to forget that Hardy was also a prolific writer of short stories, many of which are just as powerful and moving as his longer works. One such story is The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing, a darkly humorous tale of greed, cowardice, and human weakness.
At first glance, the story seems like a simple cautionary tale: two thieves, Nat and Nibs, stumble upon a stash of stolen goods, but can't resist the urge to steal it themselves. However, things quickly go awry when they both develop a sudden and uncontrollable urge to sneeze, leading to their capture and punishment. But while the story may seem straightforward, there is much more going on beneath the surface.
Setting the Scene: A World of Greed and Corruption
One of the key themes of The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing is the corrupt and immoral world in which the characters live. From the very beginning, we are presented with a bleak and hopeless world, where people are driven purely by their own selfish desires. Nat and Nibs, our hapless protagonists, are classic examples of this: they are not driven by any grand plan or ideology, but simply by their desire for wealth and comfort. When they stumble upon the stolen goods, they are initially hesitant to steal them, but their greed quickly overcomes any moral qualms they may have had.
This sense of moral decay and corruption is further reinforced by the character of the constable, who is more interested in lining his own pockets than in upholding the law. When he catches Nat and Nibs, he immediately sees an opportunity to make some money, and takes advantage of their weakness to extort them. Even the judge, who is supposed to be impartial and just, is depicted as corrupt and biased, showing a world where justice is not based on fairness and equality, but on who has the most power.
The Power of Weakness: A Study in Human Frailty
But while the setting may be bleak and corrupt, it is the characters themselves who truly make The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing such a powerful and memorable story. At the heart of the tale is the idea of weakness, and how it can lead even the strongest of characters to their downfall.
Nat and Nibs are both classic examples of this. While they may seem like hardened criminals at first, it quickly becomes clear that they are not as tough as they appear. Their fear and anxiety is palpable throughout the story, as they constantly worry about getting caught or betrayed. And when they develop their inexplicable urge to sneeze, they are powerless to resist it, no matter how much they try.
But it is not just Nat and Nibs who are weak. Even the constable, who initially seems like a strong and confident figure, is revealed to be just as vulnerable as the thieves. When he sees an opportunity to make some money, he can't resist taking it, despite the fact that it goes against his supposed duty as a law enforcement officer.
This idea of weakness is further reinforced by the ending of the story, which is both tragic and ironic. Just when it seems like Nat and Nibs have escaped punishment, they are caught and sentenced to death for a crime they didn't even commit. And even in their final moments, they are unable to control their weakness, as they succumb to their urge to sneeze and reveal their guilt.
A Masterful Blend of Humor and Tragedy
What makes The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing such a compelling story is the way that it combines humor and tragedy in such a seamless and effective way. On the one hand, there is a darkly comic tone to the story, as we see Nat and Nibs stumbling around, trying to keep from sneezing and getting caught. But at the same time, there is a profound sense of tragedy and sadness, as we see these two men, who are ultimately just victims of their own weakness, being punished for a crime they didn't even commit.
This balance between humor and tragedy is something that Hardy was particularly skilled at, and it is evident throughout much of his work. By using humor to highlight the absurdity and futility of human behavior, he is able to create a sense of empathy and understanding for his characters, even when they are at their most flawed and vulnerable.
Conclusion: A Timeless Tale of Human Weakness
In the end, The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing is a masterful depiction of human weakness and frailty, set against a backdrop of greed, corruption, and injustice. Despite being written over a century ago, it remains a timeless tale, one that continues to resonate with readers today. And while it may be a dark and sometimes unsettling story, it is also one that contains moments of humor, irony, and humanity, making it a truly unforgettable work of literature.
Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation
The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing: A Classic Prose by Thomas Hardy
Thomas Hardy is a renowned English novelist and poet who is known for his works that explore the complexities of human nature and the struggles of life. One of his most popular works is the short story, The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing, which was first published in 1877. This classic prose is a humorous tale that tells the story of a group of thieves who are unable to carry out their plan due to an uncontrollable sneezing fit. In this article, we will analyze and explain the story in detail, exploring its themes, characters, and literary devices.
The story begins with a group of thieves who are planning to rob a wealthy man's house. The leader of the group, named Silas, has carefully planned the robbery and has chosen his accomplices based on their skills and experience. The group consists of Silas, Jemmy, and Sam. They arrive at the house at night and begin to carry out their plan. However, as they are about to enter the house, Jemmy suddenly sneezes. This triggers a chain reaction, and all three of them start sneezing uncontrollably. They try to stop, but the more they try, the worse it gets. Eventually, they are forced to abandon their plan and run away.
The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing is a humorous story that explores the theme of irony. The irony lies in the fact that the thieves, who are supposed to be skilled and experienced, are unable to carry out their plan due to a simple sneeze. This highlights the unpredictability of life and the fact that even the most carefully planned actions can go wrong.
Another theme that is explored in the story is the idea of karma. The thieves are planning to steal from a wealthy man, but their plan is foiled by a simple sneeze. This can be seen as a form of poetic justice, where the thieves are punished for their immoral actions.
The story features three main characters: Silas, Jemmy, and Sam. Silas is the leader of the group and is described as a cunning and experienced thief. He is the one who has planned the robbery and has chosen his accomplices based on their skills. Jemmy is the youngest member of the group and is described as being nervous and inexperienced. Sam is the oldest member of the group and is described as being grumpy and irritable.
The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing makes use of several literary devices to enhance the story's humor and irony. One of the most prominent literary devices used in the story is irony. The fact that the thieves are unable to carry out their plan due to a simple sneeze is ironic and highlights the unpredictability of life.
Another literary device used in the story is foreshadowing. The story begins with a description of the thieves' plan, which creates a sense of anticipation in the reader. This anticipation is then heightened when Jemmy sneezes, as it foreshadows the events that are about to unfold.
The story also makes use of humor to engage the reader. The idea of a group of thieves being unable to carry out their plan due to a sneeze is inherently humorous and creates a sense of lightheartedness in the story.
The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing is a classic prose that explores the themes of irony and karma. The story features three main characters, Silas, Jemmy, and Sam, who are unable to carry out their plan due to an uncontrollable sneezing fit. The story makes use of several literary devices, including irony, foreshadowing, and humor, to engage the reader and enhance the story's themes. Overall, The Thieves Who Couldn't Help Sneezing is a humorous and entertaining story that highlights the unpredictability of life and the consequences of immoral actions.
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