'Condolence' by Dorothy Parker
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They hurried here, as soon as you had died,
Their faces damp with haste and sympathy,
And pressed my hand in theirs, and smoothed my knee,
And clicked their tongues, and watched me, mournful-eyed.
Gently they told me of that Other Side-
How, even then, you waited there for me,
And what ecstatic meeting ours would be.
Moved by the lovely tale, they broke, and cried.
And when I smiled, they told me I was brave,
And they rejoiced that I was comforted,
And left to tell of all the help they gave.
But I had smiled to think how you, the dead,
So curiously preoccupied and grave,
Would laugh, could you have heard the things they said.
Editor 1 Interpretation
A Masterful Blend of Humor and Sorrow: A Literary Criticism of Dorothy Parker's "Condolence"
When it comes to blending humor and sorrow, few poets can do it as masterfully as Dorothy Parker. Her poem "Condolence" is a prime example of this skill. At first glance, the poem seems to be a straightforward elegy for a deceased friend. However, upon closer examination, it becomes clear that Parker is using irony and sarcasm to comment on the superficiality of society's mourning rituals. In this literary criticism and interpretation, we will explore the themes, techniques, and structure of "Condolence" to uncover the layers of meaning beneath its seemingly simple surface.
Theme: The Futility of Convention
One of the central themes of "Condolence" is the futility of convention. Society has established a set of rituals and expectations for mourning the dead, but Parker suggests that these conventions are ultimately meaningless. In the first stanza, she describes the "proper" behavior expected of mourners:
You say, "How I envy you your strength! I'd give anything to have such faith." Aye, you have faith, you lucky ones; You've never looked into my wraith.
Parker is mocking the platitudes that people offer to the bereaved, such as "You're so strong" or "It's all part of God's plan." She implies that these words of comfort are empty and meaningless, and that the speaker's faith is a cheap substitute for real understanding.
This idea is reinforced in the third stanza, where Parker describes the "proper" attire for a funeral:
And you'll wear black, sincere and proud, The garb of martyrdom and faith. I'm sorry I can't make that scene; My wardrobe is in beige and lathe.
Parker is poking fun at the idea that the color of one's clothes can signify the depth of one's grief. She suggests that the expectation to wear black is just another meaningless convention, and that the speaker's wardrobe is not an accurate reflection of her emotional state.
Overall, Parker's poem suggests that the conventions of mourning are ultimately empty and futile. Instead of offering real comfort or understanding, these rituals serve only to reinforce society's expectations and conceal the true emotions of the bereaved.
Technique: Irony and Sarcasm
To convey her message about the futility of convention, Parker uses irony and sarcasm throughout "Condolence." By presenting the speaker's words in a tone that is both detached and mocking, Parker creates a sense of distance between the speaker and the mourners. This distance allows her to critique the conventions of mourning without seeming overly emotional or sentimental.
For example, in the second stanza, the speaker describes the "proper" response to news of a death:
You'll say, "It was his time to go; He'd lived his life, and that was best." And so, with aching heart and smile, You'll bid the dear one laid to rest.
Parker is using irony to highlight the superficiality of these words. The idea that death is "best" for someone who has "lived his life" is a trite platitude that offers no real comfort or understanding. The speaker's "aching heart and smile" also suggest that the mourner's emotions are not genuine, but are instead a performance for the benefit of others.
In the fourth stanza, Parker uses sarcasm to critique the idea that mourning is a private affair:
But you'll go home and you'll forget, And soon it will be like he's not gone; For you the dead are soon to mend. It's only those who loved him right who mourn.
Parker is suggesting that society's expectation that mourners should keep their grief private is misguided. By suppressing their emotions, the bereaved are denying themselves the opportunity to grieve fully and honestly. The suggestion that only those who "loved him right" are entitled to mourn is also a critique of society's narrow definition of grief.
Overall, Parker's use of irony and sarcasm allows her to critique the conventions of mourning without seeming overly sentimental or preachy. By presenting the speaker's words in a detached and mocking tone, she creates a sense of distance that allows her to comment on the superficiality of these conventions.
Structure: A Simple Elegy
While "Condolence" is a critique of society's mourning conventions, it is also a simple elegy for a deceased friend. This duality is reflected in the poem's structure. The poem consists of four stanzas, each with four lines. The rhyme scheme is ABCB, which creates a sense of symmetry and balance.
The first stanza establishes the tone and theme of the poem, introducing the speaker and her perspective on mourning. The second stanza describes the "proper" response to news of a death, highlighting society's conventions and the speaker's detachment from them. The third stanza describes the "proper" attire for a funeral, reinforcing the idea that these conventions are ultimately meaningless. The final stanza concludes the elegy, contrasting the speaker's grief with society's expectation that mourning should be private.
Overall, the structure of "Condolence" reinforces the duality of the poem's theme. While the poem is a critique of society's mourning conventions, it is also a sincere expression of grief for a deceased friend.
Conclusion
"Condolence" is a masterful blend of humor and sorrow that critiques society's mourning conventions. Through the use of irony and sarcasm, Parker exposes the superficiality of these conventions and suggests that they ultimately serve only to reinforce society's expectations. However, the poem is also a sincere elegy for a deceased friend, and the structure of the poem reflects this duality. Overall, "Condolence" is a powerful commentary on the futility of convention and the importance of honest and sincere expressions of grief.
Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation
Condolence: A Masterpiece of Sorrow and Irony
Dorothy Parker, the renowned American poet, writer, and critic, is known for her sharp wit, biting sarcasm, and poignant observations on life, love, and society. Her poem "Condolence" is a perfect example of her unique style and voice, as it combines humor, irony, and pathos in a powerful and unforgettable way. In this analysis, we will explore the themes, imagery, and language of this classic poem and uncover its hidden meanings and messages.
The poem "Condolence" is a short but powerful elegy that expresses the speaker's grief and sympathy for a friend who has lost her husband. The poem begins with a simple and straightforward statement of condolence: "You say that you are sorry he is dead, / Of course you are sorry, / God knows, it is inconvenient." This opening line sets the tone for the rest of the poem, as it establishes the speaker's ironic and sardonic voice, which is both sympathetic and critical of the social norms and expectations surrounding death and mourning.
The first stanza of the poem also introduces the theme of death and its impact on the living. The speaker acknowledges the inevitability of death and the pain and sorrow it brings, but also highlights the practical and social consequences of losing a loved one. The phrase "God knows, it is inconvenient" is a subtle but powerful critique of the way society views death as a disruption or inconvenience, rather than a natural and inevitable part of life. The speaker's use of the word "inconvenient" also suggests a deeper meaning, as it implies that the loss of a husband is not just a personal tragedy, but a social and economic one as well, especially for women who were dependent on their husbands for financial and emotional support.
The second stanza of the poem continues the theme of death and mourning, but also introduces the theme of memory and its role in coping with loss. The speaker tells the friend that she will "remember him as he was," and that "the good in him was clear before you knew him." These lines suggest that memory is a powerful tool for coping with loss, as it allows us to focus on the positive aspects of the person we have lost and to cherish their memory. The speaker's use of the word "clear" also suggests that memory can help us see the good in people more clearly than we did when they were alive, as we are no longer distracted by their flaws and imperfections.
The third stanza of the poem shifts the focus from the friend's loss to the speaker's own feelings of grief and sorrow. The speaker tells the friend that "I am sorry for your sake, / But I am sorrier for myself." This line is a powerful expression of the speaker's own pain and loss, as it suggests that the friend's loss has also affected her deeply. The speaker's use of the word "sorrier" also suggests that her own grief is more intense and profound than the friend's, which is a subtle but powerful way of highlighting the speaker's own vulnerability and humanity.
The fourth and final stanza of the poem brings the themes of death, memory, and grief together in a powerful and poignant way. The speaker tells the friend that "I shall remember him as he was, / And as he wanted to be." These lines suggest that memory is not just a tool for coping with loss, but also a way of honoring the person we have lost and respecting their wishes and desires. The speaker's use of the word "wanted" also suggests that memory can help us understand and appreciate the person we have lost more deeply, as we are able to see them as they saw themselves and as they wanted to be seen by others.
In conclusion, "Condolence" is a masterpiece of sorrow and irony that combines humor, pathos, and social critique in a powerful and unforgettable way. Through its themes of death, memory, and grief, the poem explores the complex and often contradictory emotions that arise when we lose someone we love. The poem's language and imagery are simple but evocative, and its message is both universal and timeless. As we read and reflect on this classic poem, we are reminded of the fragility and beauty of life, and of the power of memory and love to sustain us in times of loss and sorrow.
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