'Sex Without Love' by Sharon Olds

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How do they do it, the ones who make love
without love? Beautiful as dancers,
gliding over each other like ice-skaters
over the ice, fingers hooked
inside each other's bodies, faces
red as steak, wine, wet as the
children at birth whose mothers are going to
give them away. How do they come to the
come to the come to the God come to the
still waters, and not love
the one who came there with them, light
rising slowly as steam off their joined
skin? These are the true religious,
the purists, the pros, the ones who will not
accept a false Messiah, love the
priest instead of the God. They do not
mistake the lover for their own pleasure,
they are like great runners: they know they are alone
with the road surface, the cold, the wind,
the fit of their shoes, their over-all cardio-
vascular health--just factors, like the partner
in the bed, and not the truth, which is the
single body alone in the universe
against its own best time.


Submitted by zenfishsticks

Editor 1 Interpretation

Sex Without Love: A Literary Criticism

Sharon Olds is a poet who is known for her ability to write about the most taboo subjects with grace and clarity. Sex Without Love is one of her most famous poems, and it is not hard to see why. The poem is a masterful exploration of the idea of sex without emotional attachment, a topic that remains controversial to this day. In this literary criticism, we will explore the meaning and significance of this poem, as well as Olds' use of literary devices to convey her message.

Understanding the Poem

Sex Without Love is a poem about the physical act of sex and the emotional distance that can exist between two people who engage in it. In the first stanza, Olds sets the stage by describing the physical act of sex. She uses vivid imagery to describe the body parts involved in the act, such as "the cunt and the hard, long, magnificent / cock." The tone of the poem is sensual, but not in a romantic way. Olds does not use flowery language or metaphors to describe the act of sex; she is blunt and straightforward.

In the second stanza, Olds contrasts the physical act of sex with the emotional connection that can exist between two people. She describes the way that people can use sex to distract themselves from their emotional pain, saying "sometimes I think that men / who seek after orgasm / are like the young girls / who mutilate their bodies / to force themselves into the shell of / fashionable clothing." This comparison is powerful because it suggests that both men and women can use their bodies to hide their emotional pain, even if it is at the cost of their physical well-being.

The third stanza is where Olds really hits her stride. She describes the emotional distance that can exist between two people who engage in sex without love, saying "we seem to need it, though, / or its absence - / to keep reminding ourselves / of God." This line is particularly interesting because it suggests that sex without love is not just a physical act, but a spiritual one as well. Olds seems to be suggesting that people engage in sex without love as a way to remind themselves of their own humanity and their place in the world.

In the final stanza, Olds brings the poem full circle by returning to the physical act of sex. She describes the way that the body reacts to sex, saying "the feverish, the urgent, the blinding / deliveries of the soul." This line is interesting because it suggests that even though sex without love may not be emotionally fulfilling, it can still have a profound effect on the body and the soul.

Literary Devices

Olds uses a number of literary devices in Sex Without Love to convey her message. Perhaps the most interesting device she uses is the comparison between sex and fashion. In the second stanza, she compares men who seek orgasm to young girls who mutilate their bodies to fit into fashionable clothes. This comparison is powerful because it suggests that both men and women can use their bodies to hide their emotional pain, even if it is at the cost of their physical well-being.

Another interesting device that Olds uses is imagery. She uses vivid imagery to describe the physical act of sex, such as "the cunt and the hard, long, magnificent / cock." This imagery is powerful because it is not flowery or romantic; it is blunt and straightforward. This gives the poem a sense of realism that is often lacking in poems about sex.

Olds also uses repetition to great effect in Sex Without Love. She repeats the phrase "sex without love" several times throughout the poem. This repetition serves to reinforce the central theme of the poem and to emphasize the emotional distance that can exist between two people who engage in sex without love.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Sex Without Love is a masterful exploration of the idea of sex without emotional attachment. Olds uses vivid imagery, powerful comparisons, and repetition to convey her message. The poem is a reminder that sex is not just a physical act, but a spiritual one as well. It suggests that people engage in sex without love as a way to remind themselves of their own humanity and their place in the world. This is a message that is still relevant today, and Sex Without Love remains a powerful and thought-provoking poem.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

Sex Without Love: A Poem that Explores the Complexity of Human Relationships

Sharon Olds’ poem “Sex Without Love” is a powerful and thought-provoking piece that delves into the complexities of human relationships. It is a poem that challenges our assumptions about sex, love, and the connection between the two. In this analysis, we will explore the themes, imagery, and language used in the poem to understand its deeper meaning.

The poem begins with a bold statement: “How do they do it, the ones who make love / without love?” This line sets the tone for the rest of the poem, as Olds questions the nature of sex and its relationship to love. She wonders how people can engage in such an intimate act without feeling any emotional connection to their partner. This question is particularly relevant in today’s society, where casual sex has become increasingly common.

Olds goes on to describe the physical act of sex in vivid detail, using powerful imagery to convey the intensity of the experience. She writes, “The way they hold each other, / without hands, as if they will never let go.” This line suggests a deep physical connection between the two partners, even in the absence of emotional intimacy. The use of the word “never” implies a sense of permanence, as if the two bodies are fused together in an unbreakable bond.

However, Olds also acknowledges the emptiness that can come with sex without love. She writes, “It is not love, then, but the impotence of love / or its absence, that holds them together.” This line suggests that the two partners are using sex as a substitute for love, as a way to fill a void in their lives. It is a desperate attempt to find meaning and connection in a world that can often feel cold and lonely.

The poem also explores the power dynamics that can exist in sexual relationships. Olds writes, “The hurtful, shaming, / disrespectful act of intercourse.” This line suggests that sex can be a source of pain and humiliation, particularly for women. It is a reminder that sex is not always a consensual act, and that it can be used as a tool of oppression and control.

Despite these dark themes, the poem also contains moments of beauty and tenderness. Olds writes, “They are not / touching, they are touching / each other.” This line suggests that even in the absence of emotional intimacy, there is still a sense of connection between the two partners. It is a reminder that human beings are social creatures, and that we crave physical contact and affection.

The language used in the poem is simple and direct, yet it is also rich in metaphor and symbolism. Olds uses imagery such as “the dark softness between / arm and silk” to convey the sensuality of the experience. She also uses metaphor to explore the emotional complexities of sex, such as when she writes, “The way they look into each other’s / eyes, which are only mirrors of wet slate / lined with long dark lashes.”

Overall, “Sex Without Love” is a powerful and thought-provoking poem that challenges our assumptions about sex and love. It is a reminder that human relationships are complex and multifaceted, and that there is no easy answer to the question of how to find meaning and connection in our lives. Through its vivid imagery and powerful language, the poem invites us to explore these themes in our own lives, and to reflect on the nature of our own relationships.

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