'Common Cold' by Ogden Nash

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Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.
By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!
Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.
Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.
A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Editor 1 Interpretation

The Common Cold by Ogden Nash: A Literary Criticism

Have you ever felt the tickle in your nose, the scratch in your throat, the heaviness in your head, and the fatigue in your body? If yes, then you know the feeling of having a cold. And if you're a fan of poetry, then you might want to read Ogden Nash's "Common Cold," a humorous poem that captures the essence of this common, yet annoying, illness.

Overview of the Poem

"Common Cold" is a short, two-stanza poem with a total of 16 lines. It was first published in the New Yorker magazine in 1954, and has since become one of Nash's most popular poems. The poem's tone is light and humorous, with Nash using wordplay and irony to describe the symptoms of the common cold. He personifies the cold as a cunning and malevolent creature that sneaks up on unsuspecting victims and wreaks havoc in their bodies.

Analysis of the Poem

Structure and Form

The poem follows a simple AABB rhyme scheme, with each stanza consisting of four rhymed couplets. The rhythm is also consistent, with each line having roughly the same number of syllables. This regularity in structure and form contributes to the poem's light and playful tone, which is appropriate for a poem about a common illness.

Personification

One of the most striking features of the poem is Nash's use of personification to describe the common cold. He portrays it as a sneaky and cunning creature that "sneezes" and "whistles" its way into our bodies. He also describes it as "an uninvited brute" that "invades with impunity" and "dominates all the vital passages." This personification not only adds humor to the poem, but also captures the way that many people feel when they have a cold – as if they are being invaded by an unwelcome guest.

Wordplay

Another key element of the poem is Nash's use of wordplay and puns. For example, he describes the "tongue as dry as a biscuit" and the "nose as cold as an icicle." He also uses alliteration to create a sense of rhythm and musicality: "sneezes and wheezes" and "aches and quakes." This wordplay not only adds to the humor of the poem, but also creates a sense of playfulness and lightness that is appropriate for a poem about a common, albeit annoying, illness.

Irony

Finally, the poem also uses irony to describe the common cold. Nash describes the cold as a "great leveller" that affects everyone from "the mighty" to "the meek." He also notes that the cold is "not even a disease" but rather a "disagreeable inconvenience." This ironic tone not only adds to the humor of the poem, but also underscores the way that the common cold is often trivialized, even though it can be a real nuisance for those who suffer from it.

Interpretation of the Poem

So, what does "Common Cold" mean? At its core, the poem is a humorous and lighthearted take on a common human experience – getting sick with a cold. Nash uses wordplay, irony, and personification to capture the way that a cold can feel like an unwelcome invader in our bodies, dominating our senses and making us feel miserable. But at the same time, the poem also acknowledges that the common cold is a universal experience that affects everyone, regardless of status or wealth. In this sense, the poem can be seen as a celebration of our shared humanity, even in the face of a common, annoying illness.

Conclusion

In conclusion, "Common Cold" is a humorous and playful poem that captures the experience of getting sick with a cold. Through its use of wordplay, personification, and irony, the poem highlights the way that a cold can feel like an unwelcome invader in our bodies, while also acknowledging that this is a universal experience that affects everyone. Overall, the poem is a lighthearted and relatable take on a common human experience, and one that is sure to bring a smile to the faces of readers who have ever suffered from a cold.

Editor 2 Analysis and Explanation

The Common Cold: A Poem by Ogden Nash

Are you feeling under the weather? Do you have a runny nose, a sore throat, and a cough that just won't quit? If so, you might have the common cold. But don't worry, you're not alone. In fact, the common cold is so common that it has inspired poets to write about it. One such poet is Ogden Nash, who wrote a hilarious and insightful poem about the common cold. In this article, we will analyze and explain Nash's poem, and explore its themes and literary devices.

The Poem

Before we dive into the analysis, let's first read the poem in its entirety:

Go hang yourself, you old M.D.!
You shall not sneer at me.
Pick up your hat and stethoscope,
Go wash your mouth with laundry soap;
I contemplate a joy exquisite
I'm not paying you for your visit.
I did not call you to be told
My malady is a common cold.

By pounding brow and swollen lip;
By fever's hot and scaly grip;
By those two red redundant eyes
That weep like woeful April skies;
By racking snuffle, snort, and sniff;
By handkerchief after handkerchief;
This cold you wave away as naught
Is the damnedest cold man ever caught!

Give ear, you scientific fossil!
Here is the genuine Cold Colossal;
The Cold of which researchers dream,
The Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme.
This honored system humbly holds
The Super-cold to end all colds;
The Cold Crusading for Democracy;
The Führer of the Streptococcracy.

Bacilli swarm within my portals
Such as were ne'er conceived by mortals,
But bred by scientists wise and hoary
In some Olympic laboratory;
Bacteria as large as mice,
With feet of fire and heads of ice
Who never interrupt for slumber
Their stamping elephantine rumba.

A common cold, gadzooks, forsooth!
Ah, yes. And Lincoln was jostled by Booth;
Don Juan was a budding gallant,
And Shakespeare's plays show signs of talent;
The Arctic winter is fairly coolish,
And your diagnosis is fairly foolish.
Oh what a derision history holds
For the man who belittled the Cold of Colds!

Analysis

At first glance, Nash's poem might seem like a simple rant against a doctor who dismissed his common cold as nothing to worry about. But upon closer inspection, the poem reveals itself to be a clever satire of both the medical profession and human nature.

The poem begins with a direct insult to the doctor, telling him to "go hang yourself" and accusing him of sneering at Nash. This sets the tone for the rest of the poem, which is full of sarcastic and humorous jabs at the doctor and his profession.

Nash then goes on to mock the doctor's tools of the trade, telling him to pick up his hat and stethoscope and go wash his mouth with laundry soap. This is a clever way of showing how little respect Nash has for the doctor and his methods.

The next stanza is where Nash really starts to shine. He describes his cold in vivid and exaggerated detail, using hyperbolic language to make it seem like the worst cold ever. He talks about his pounding brow and swollen lip, his fever's hot and scaly grip, and his two red redundant eyes that weep like woeful April skies. He also describes his racking snuffle, snort, and sniff, and the endless stream of handkerchiefs he goes through. All of this is done to show how much Nash is suffering, and to make the doctor seem foolish for dismissing it as a common cold.

But Nash doesn't stop there. He goes on to describe his cold as the "genuine Cold Colossal," the "Perfect Cold, the Cold Supreme." He even gives it a grandiose title, calling it the "Cold Crusading for Democracy" and the "Führer of the Streptococcracy." This is a brilliant way of poking fun at the medical profession's tendency to use big words and complex terminology to describe simple things.

Nash then takes it a step further by describing the bacteria that are causing his cold as "swarming within his portals" and being "bred by scientists wise and hoary in some Olympic laboratory." He even describes them as being "as large as mice, with feet of fire and heads of ice." This is a hilarious way of showing how little Nash understands about the science behind his cold, and how ridiculous it is to try and make it seem like something more than it is.

The poem ends with Nash mocking the doctor's diagnosis and comparing it to other historical events that were belittled at the time. He mentions Lincoln being jostled by Booth, Don Juan being a budding gallant, and Shakespeare's plays showing signs of talent. This is a clever way of showing how history often proves people wrong, and how the doctor's dismissal of Nash's cold will likely be seen as foolish in the future.

Themes

The main theme of Nash's poem is the absurdity of human nature. He uses the common cold as a way of showing how we often make a big deal out of things that are really quite simple. He also shows how we tend to use big words and complex terminology to describe things that don't really need it.

Another theme of the poem is the power of satire. Nash uses humor and sarcasm to make his point, and in doing so, he exposes the flaws and weaknesses of the medical profession. He shows how doctors can be dismissive and condescending, and how their methods can sometimes be more harmful than helpful.

Literary Devices

Nash's poem is full of literary devices that help to make it both humorous and insightful. Here are a few examples:

• Hyperbole: Nash uses exaggerated language to describe his cold, making it seem like the worst cold ever.
• Satire: The entire poem is a satire of the medical profession and human nature.
• Irony: Nash's use of grandiose language to describe his cold is ironic, since it is really just a common cold.
• Allusion: Nash references historical events and figures, such as Lincoln and Don Juan, to make his point.
• Personification: Nash personifies the bacteria that are causing his cold, giving them human-like qualities.

Conclusion

In conclusion, Ogden Nash's poem "Common Cold" is a hilarious and insightful satire of the medical profession and human nature. Through his use of hyperbole, satire, irony, allusion, and personification, Nash exposes the flaws and weaknesses of the medical profession, and shows how we often make a big deal out of things that are really quite simple. So the next time you have a cold, remember Nash's poem, and don't take it too seriously. After all, it's just a common cold.

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